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Cardi B Off Set

Source: Via Event Planner KayCee Nwasike / Via Event Planner KayCee Nwasike

Ever since Cardi B recently announced that she was divorcing her husband and father of her child, Offset has been doing the absolute most to get her back.

He’s taken to social media to blame everyone else for the demise of his marriage, told the world how much he misses her and even recently made a video pleading her to come back and let him spend the holidays with his family.

But on Saturday night, he took his public display of nonsense to an entirely new level.

During her performance at Los Angeles’ Rolling Loud Festival, the Migos rapper decided to hijack Cardi B during her performance to ask for forgiveness.

With a loud and tacky flower arrangement that read “TAKE ME BACK CARDI,” Offset told his wife, “I just want to tell you I’m sorry. You’re my best friend in the world. Whatever I got to do to show I love you, I’ll do.”

“I just wanna tell you I’m sorry bruh,” he said. “And furthermore, I love you.”

Sigh…who is he calling “bruh”? Thankfully, she let him have it backstage.

While there are plenty of folks out there who may find this to be a romantic gesture, I am not here for any of this posturing all.

What Offset did was manipulative, toxic and downright abusive.

Cardi B has made it clear that she no longer wants to be with this man, has “fallen out of love” with him and wants to move on with her life. For folks with common sense, this is understandable given that Offset has cheated on her multiple times during the course of their relationship.

But Offset isn’t trying to hear that. He refuses to leave her alone and learn from his mistakes.

So, he took it upon himself to steal her moment, which was monumental given that Cardi was the first female headliner in Rolling Loud’s 3-year-history. He decided that his needs trumped her feelings, personal space and spotlight. So he came to her job uninvited, ambushing and coercing her in front of thousands of people, thinking she would crumble under the pressure of not wanting to bruise a Black man’s ego in public and essentially take him back.

If this isn’t the definition of toxic masculinity, I don’t know what is.

Sadly, he didn’t do this all by himself. For the complicit folks at Rolling Loud who knew about this before hand—and even bragged about it on Twitter—and the people close to Cardi who were in on the stunt and didn’t tell her ahead of time, they all need their asses beat too.

This did not have to happen in public.

Be clear: My critique isn’t about me stanning.

I’ve never been a Cardi B fan—I’m still confused at all her Grammy nominations and am often turned off by her online and in-person behavior, especially that NYFW nonsense with Nicki Minaj a few months back. Not to mention, her colorism and past homophobic and transphobic remarks. But what I do appreciate is her come-up story, her resilience and watching her grow as a woman, a rapper and a mother.

I want Cardi to be happy, successful and revel in the fact that she knows her worth. But perhaps, that’s the problem.

Perhaps that’s why philandering goons like T.I., The Game, Kirk Frost and 50 Cent continue to berate the 26-year-old for “breaking up her family,” while downplaying the severity that having sex with other women can have on a marriage.

Could you imagine if Cardi B would have cheated on Offset? These same “men” would never be fighting this hard for this relationship to work. But I digress.

See, folks hate when Black women stick up for themselves, have standards and are empowered in their decisions. In addition, folks routinely shame Black women who refuse to allow their relationships to be solely based on pain, one-sided sacrifice,  trauma and infidelity. It literally makes folks’ blood boil to see Black women unbossed, unbothered and happy on their own terms—just ask Ciara.

In the end, if Cardi takes Offset back, that’s her own business and I promise not to judge. And while she has asked for folks to not “bash him,” it’s important that we continue to hold this man—and other Black men like him— accountable, an act that too often feels like a rarity instead of the norm. It’s also important that we listen to Black women and remind them that despite what the world may tell them, they are the experts of their own lives and know what’s best for them and their families.

Finally, if anything, it’s important for us to use Offset’s behavior as a teachable moment to educate brothas on why this is unacceptable, what healthy relationships and boundaries actually look like, and why Black women are not garbage bags to dump your trashy trifling baggage into.

We’re tired of carrying that load, and frankly, we’re entitled to so much better.


Offset Admits He Misses Cardi B, Black Twitter Reminds Him He’s The Reason Why She’s Gone

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‘Y’all Won’: Black Twitter Roasts Offset For Accusing Folks Of Conspiring Against His Marriage

No Offset, Your Little Stunt During Cardi B’s Performance Wasn’t Romantic. It was Abusive.  was originally published on