Analysis: DADDY ISSUES Part II

Daddy Issues by dinaE

While Charlie Sheen definitely has some issues going on, many women have serious issues, as well. Daddy Issues.

A woman has Daddy Issues when she seeks attention from men to compensate for that attention not provided from her father.

Basically, Daddy Issues are today’s “Electra” complex, a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung back in 1913. Daddy Issues involve women whose fathers were deadbeat, docile, doting, dominant, or downright dirty. Daddy daughters may have Daddy Issues, too. Behaviors including promiscuity, flirtation, clinginess, and emotional hang-ups, can stem from Daddy Issues.

Since society tends to label people and behavior, Daddy Issues may not necessarily be caused by a father’s lack of attention. Nevertheless, it is important to understand and recognize women with Daddy Issues and work towards solutions to deal with the behaviors associated therein.

THE VOICES

Callers and Tweeters responding to Daddy Issues in the March 2011, Trending with EZ Show noted….

TYPES OF DADS

Deadbeat Dads

Absent fathers bring on big-time trust issues and abandonment anxieties. Women worry about desertion and doubt and wonder whether their man will walk away someday. Referred sometimes as “sperm donors,” Deadbeat Dads have much to do with women experiencing Daddy Issues.

Docile Dads

A woman who grew up with a father who passively participated in her life or was uninvolved with the rearing and raising aspect may have that “I don’t need a man” mentality. Often an overachieving, workhorse, these women desire and require independence. Docile dads may bring home the bacon, but their daughters feel fried by the lack of affection afforded. Generally, these types of fathers really do care, yet their inability to express love and concern can cause Daddy Issues.

Doting Dads

A “daddy’s girl” can do no wrong in the eyes of her father and vice versa. She is her father’s princess (though she may want to be Queen Electra). Whereas the father feels no one is good enough for his darling daughter, the daughter basically believes no man can surpass her father’s charm and charisma. Daddy girls have a special bond with their father and generally communicate often, even throughout the day. Daddy girls sometimes have Daddy Issues.

Dominating Dads

Fathers who seek to control their daughters and use fear techniques could cause Daddy Issues. Women who grew up with controlling fathers may seek a man they can dominate; the pushover type who is easily manipulated.

Dirty Dads

Female victims of sexual molestation from fathers (or other trusted males) may hold dirty feelings toward men. They might be sexually aggressive; practice pornographic patterns; engage in exhibitionism; believe sex equates love; or simply have major trust issues. Girls experiencing dirty dads probably have Daddy Issues.

DADDY ISSUES BEHAVIORS:

Promiscuity

Women with Daddy Issues may indulge in casual and indiscriminate sexual relations. One night stands are no big deal, nor are being the “clean-up woman” or mistress. An NSA—No Strings Attached—lifestyle is common and convenient. Promiscuous women may dress provocatively and exaggeratedly sexy.

Excessive Flirtation

A woman’s crave for male attention can partly be due to that which was not provided by her father. Resultantly, excessive flirtation may be one way a woman copes with her Daddy Issues. While many women flirt, when this behavior becomes intense, aggressive, and excessive, there is usually an underlying reason. Some women flirt simply because they are interested in the man. But when a women’s flirting is habitual and continual with any man, regardless of interest level, this behavior could be attributed to Daddy Issues.

Clinginess

Every woman desires 3 A’s: attention, appreciation and affection. However, when a woman tends to throw fanatic fits with her mate when he fails to spend every waking and non-working moment with her; compliment her; or continually shower her with kisses and I love you’s, she may indeed have Daddy Issues. Women in this category may crave PDAs (public displays of affection), are doubtful and dependent, insecure and unconfident, or just jealous about her mate.

Emotional Hang-Ups

Hurtful memories, shattered dreams, disappointments, betrayal, embarrassments, and abuse comprise emotional hang-ups. This behavior is pretty tricky because emotions can be complicated and misunderstood, especially when gestures and expressions contrast what is said and done. Women with Daddy Issues may suppress emotional hang-ups, causing confusion in their romantic relationships because their mates may feel shut-out.

SOLUTIONS:

Daddy Issues must be understood and recognized. Mates must maintain honest and open communication. Though resolving methods are similar for both sexes, there are a few strategies that differ.

Men:

▪ In clingy situations, maintain a separate social life from your mate. (Encourage and support your mate to have the same).

▪ Do not place all the blame on the woman. (Everyone must be accountable, both men and women).

▪ Show and tell your mate you are interested in getting to know her mind and not just her body. (So the woman won’t feel the need to be promiscuous).

▪ Confront the behavior. (The attention given may offset the attention sought).

▪ Continually provide the 3 A’s: Attention, Appreciation, and Affection.

Women:

• 1. Cherry, Kenda. What Is the Electra Complex?, psychology.about.com.
  2. thefreedictionary.com
  3. Seamands, David A. Healing for Damaged Emotions, 1991.
  4. Chomik, Andrew. Her Daddy Issues, askmen.com.

▪ Fully forgive your father.

▪ Develop a real relationship with your father.

▪ Do not compare your mate to your father (unless it is complimentary).

▪ Maintain a separate social life (to avoid clinginess).

▪ Trust, appreciate, and respect your mate.Essentially, a woman’s relationship with her father will impact her romantic relationships. If a father failed to provide love and affection to his daughter, she may become bitter towards men and expect only the worse from them; not to mention exhibit those behaviors described. Unresolved Daddy Issues may prevent a woman from having a meaningful and lasting relationship with a spouse or boyfriend.

In reality, most women experience some type of Daddy Issues. I can only imagine the kind Charlie Sheen’s daughters will have.

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